I have to write a disclaimer on this-it is long, but if you or anyone you know, plays sports, or if you have children, you need to learn about concussions. It can extremely dangerous, even life threatening, for a concussed person to be put back into the game and continue to play, or for a child, or adult, to continue with an undiagnosed concussion.
Wikipedia describes Concussion:, from the Latin concutere ("to shake violently")[1] or the Latin concussus ("action of striking together"),[2] is the most common type of traumatic brain injury. The terms mild brain injury, mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI), mild head injury (MHI), minor head trauma, and concussion may be used interchangeably,[3][4] although the latter is often treated as a narrower category.[5] The term "concussion" has been used for centuries and is still commonly used in sports medicine, while 'MTBI' is a technical term used more commonly nowadays in general medical contexts. Frequently defined as a head injury with a temporary loss of brain function, concussion can cause a variety of physical, cognitive, and emotional symptoms.
This is how mine happened.
It was the last scrimmage of the year and the last night of Derby before Christmas. Our team, the Black Hats was down at least 10 points. We were doing better this scrimmage than we had the last one but were still fighting hard to gain on the Red Shirts. It seemed that their skaters were bigger and faster than ours and there was plenty of contact for a low-contact league! I had jammed twice and was playing what seems to be my favoured position-pivot-while screaming at Chlorine as she jammed for us and had taken the position of lead jammer and was rounding the bend at the far end of the track. That was the last thing I remember...except that I was trying to busy up Avalanche by pushing her off the track and remember thinking that our skates may lock...but I'm not sure if that was from a previous jam?
I was dreaming about something totally unrelated to derby and then I woke up, sitting on the bench, (alone, I thought) and wondering if I was dreaming in public or if I was thinking about a dream I'd dreamed before....I couldn't figure it out. Then I started to look around. It seemed like there were skaters on the track at that point, but I'm not sure if they were playing (they finished one more jam after I fell); or if some skaters were just skating around after the scrimmage to cool down. I couldn't figure out where I was...and I couldn't figure out where the door was...this seemed important to me...and it's kind of funny in hindsight because my aunt in LA suffers from Alzheimer’s, but when I last visited her in 2006 she was in the early stages of what we thought was dementia. Whenever we took her out to a restaurant, she always located the exit immediately...like she needed an escape plan...that's how I felt at that moment.
I couldn’t see any door or recognize anything so I asked a person sitting beside me if they knew where I was? She immediately said, “Rosemary, are you okay?”
Then I remember seeing my daughter Genna in front of me and asking her something and her saying, “You already asked me that, Mom. Like 5 times!” I looked at Betty Bones and started crying. Poor Bones…she didn’t know what to say…sorry about that,Bones… didn't mean to freak you out! Then I thought I was going to throw up. I’m not sure if that was before or after they checked me over. Avalanche who is a registered ski patrol person and a lady from the YMCA shone lights in my eyes and asked me if I was okay. Mela Thunder was rubbing my arms telling me to relax, that it was going to be okay and Genna was looking at me like I was crazy (or she was going crazy). I had no equipment on at that point and didn't remember it coming off, although I did pick up my helmet and put it on to show them that it was slightly lose. Then I announced that I thought I was going to throw up and headed to the bathroom, alone, strangely? I wasn't sick and started to feel better but I was still pretty confused. I kept asking what had happened…not so much understanding that I fell, but how did I fall?
I found out later that Chlorine fell rounding the far side of the track and thought she dislocated her shoulder. I don’t remember her falling. Everyone was distracted by it and Nia (who was refereeing) blew the whistle and told everyone to take a knee (in Derby terms: stop action while injuries are assessed), when she turned back to the pack, a bunch of us were down. They said it looked like my skates went up in the air and I landed flat on my back and my head bounced. That would make sense if my skates locked with Avalanche…I guess your skates just go with the other skater. I was wearing the Pivot helmet knicker (a helmet cover that has a stripe front to back to distinguish the pivot from the blockers. The jammer wears a knicker with a star on it) and when I fell it slipped off and was covering my face. My daughter, Genna, kind soul that she is…said, “It’s a good thing that helmet knicker flew off on your face, Mom, because if they would’ve went over there to check you and saw you with your eyes rolled back in your head…they would've been scarred for life!” Funny girl, she is! But probably right! They tried to get me up and I got up on my knees and I said, “Don’t make me stand up…I feel too dizzy.” Then I crawled off the track on my hands and knees….real dignified like. I guess Genna went to the bench with me…not sure who removed my skates and pads. I was communicating the entire time but blacked out. A YMCA person came and assessed Chlorine and they decided her shoulder was only sprained. They weren’t too concerned about me until I started asking questions-reverberating- it’s called. In the meantime, they finished the 3rd quarter with 1 last jam. We didn’t win although it seemed important to me and I kept asking if we won. I would say by the time that passed during the final and with all the other commotion going on, that I was blacked out for about 10 minutes. I think I must have fallen on someone’s skates because the next day I had a nice set of 4 bruises on my butt. I also felt like I had a cracked rib but remember being back-checked (hit in the back by another player as they skate up behind you) pretty hard at one point in the game so I was not sure if it was from that or landing on something. In derby it’s so intense and so much happens during a jam and falls that usually you don’t assess your injuries until the next day when the pain sets in and by then you don’t remember the source….just that it was a great game!
So they decided that I should go to the hospital. Genna drove and Vansterdamn drove my van with Suenami (who is a nurse, my age and also our team first aid assessment person) and I. (I know for sure that Vanessa loved, loved driving my van….and it was pretty stressful for me to be the passenger!) Sue took me in while Vanessa and Genna parked. I guess I called Dolph on route and told him I didn't know where I was or where they were taking me but I was fine? Vanessa grabbed half of a Ham and Mozzarella on a Rosemary Foccacia that I had started to eat on the way to Derby and left on the dash-she said later that it was literally the best sandwich she had ever eaten. You have to know Vanessa…. At the hospital they checked me at triage and then sent me back to the waiting room. I was shaking violently by then, had a massive headache and it hurt to breath because of my ribs. Suenami and Vanessa stayed for a while, then they decided to take my van to Vanessa’s and Sue had to pick up her car at the Y. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was a 4 -5 hour wait in emerge. There were some really strange people there…including us in our derby gear…thankfully Genna had decided not to wear her purple fishnets tonight! It makes me wonder…do rich people ever use emerge…because it seemed like most of the people there were really lower class…like street person class…not to be a snob or anything…it was just a random thought I had while there. About 20 minutes after we arrived, a lady who was in this quarantine room in the corner began to vomit. The first time, we heard it splat all over the floor. It was so loud that it pretty much rattled the windows…she went for about a half hour…or an eternity. Gen and I are a bit OCD about picking up viruses in public so I went to the window after we were there for about 2 ½ hours and asked how long the wait was. Another 2-3 hours-yikes. I asked if I could check myself out. An elderly gentleman beside us had been there since 7:30 and we got there at 9:30! They said I had to see the triage nurse again. She told me I definitely had a concussion and that really, unless I had more severe symptoms, there wasn’t much they could do for me. She told me to not over exert myself, that I should come back if I had really severe confusion, vomiting or really severe headaches that wouldn't go away. She said I couldn't run or skate for probably at least a week and definitely get checked out before I skated again.
I decided that since Genna and I had been carrying on a somewhat coherent conversation for a couple of hours and that I was looking at a magazine that I was okay to drive….really, it was my decision not hers. We decided we were both hungry and went through McDonald’s drive through for Double Cheeseburger meals…she dumped the fries on the floor of the truck…sorry, Laura! Then we got Vanessa out of bed and picked up my van where it was nicely tucked in her driveway…it looked way too at home there! I decided to drive and really, it seemed okay. It was 1:30 in the morning after all. One of my reasons for doing so was that we had a full agenda the next day which involved driving older kids into town and then driving to Stratford and back to London. We needed the van and complicating it by leaving it in London didn't seem like an option to me at that point. I was actually fine driving, until some punks on Oxford St threw a chunk of ice the size of my head at my van. It hit squarely in the middle of the driver’s side right where my windshield is cracked…I was sure it would've broken it but it didn't so I pulled a U turn and chased them down while I called the cops. They just stood on the side of the road in their subdivision and continued to throw stuff at my van while I sat there and described them to the officer…I was so mad it was all I could do not to get out of the car and chase them down…they had snow so I figured they didn't have guns! The police said they were on their way and I could go, so I continued home. (Later I found out that this would be one of my symptoms-uncontrollable emotions) It took me several hours to get to sleep…I think like maybe 4 am and I woke with a pretty bad headache.
We had a lot planned for that weekend. We had been planning to pick up a TV and Blue Ray player in Stratford from my son-in-law’s Source store, and then pick up a side of beef that we had ordered at the Trail’s End market in London. The TV was my Christmas present and would help make our room a private place to sneak away from the kids for a date! I had shopping to do for a family Christmas on Sunday that I had tried to finish on Friday afternoon and wasn't able to. Our Nethercott family Christmas was on Sunday and it was the one time of the year that I get to visit with those Aunts and Uncles and cousins. On top of that I had planned a baby shower for my niece, Kylie and her new baby, Morgan, at the family Christmas. I had photos to print, gifts to wrap, cards to write out and food to prepare (not only my own but I was also covering for my brother and my nephew). My oldest boys were invited to a small group party that started at 9:30 pm and ended at 1 am that evening and needed a ride to and from. I didn’t feel that bad when I woke up but as the day began to get more stressful things went downhill. My husband was upset and stressing that I was adding things to the day we already had planned and I needed to find rides to and from London for my kids. When I came downstairs to talk to Levi about the party and ask him a question…I just looked at him and burst into tears. I didn't know what I was asking him or why? The least little thing set me off crying and I couldn't understand it. (Don’t expect a person with a concussion to assess if they are having severe confusion! I didn't think a concussion was that big of a deal?) I took one Tylenol to stave off the headache-anyone who knows me well, knows I resist taking drugs for anything.
My dear friend, Lizzie, offered to have the boys dropped off at her house and to drive them to and pick them up from the party. Thank you, Lizzie! On the way there, as we drove through her subdivision, I had to hold my head in my hands as the van vibrated over the ice from the recent snowstorm. We headed next to Stratford….my husband, not used to driving my van, almost ran out of gas on the way there…in the great, uninhabited North-do you realize how many closed gas stations there are between Thamesford and Stratford? Neither do I…I can’t remember! We made it on a vapour and a prayer…whew! At one point we passed an empty field with a sign that read: Please don’t honk at the sheep! Really? I went from crying to laughing uncontrollably in 1.2 seconds! So my sense of humour was intact…I had to stop and take a picture…on the way home…needed to keep the momentum going….before we ran out of gas! We made it to the GoCo just outside of Stratford…more comic relief….a ‘bait’ vending machine! Really? I had never seen or even thought of such a thing-thankfully it was closed for the winter…those poor frozen little worms…. In Stratford, we found the Source and Liam, my son-in-law, had most of our stuff ready. (I had cried almost all the way there so I’m sure I was a mess). The other guys in the store knew what had happened to me, but they loaded up the trap thrower toy anyway and let me play it in the store, then laughed at me when I hit nothing! Liam and Dolph asked me questions about the Blue Ray player that I (Dolph) wanted and I stared at them with a blank face….they just laughed at me. I remember telling them that I felt like my thoughts were suspended in a giant bowl of Jell-O and I had to swim to them? Dolph let me go off to find a bathroom by myself…I made it there but found it so confusing and noisy and over stimulating…I remember standing in Canadian Tire and thinking…now I know what it feels like to be Autistic! He had to come and get me-I was standing at the end of an isle studying a display of baskets!
We headed off to Trails End for the meat…I went in to buy some fruit and veggies. I hadn’t been there in a few years so it was really confusing and the quality was not that great. I threw out almost everything I bought. After that it was Wal-Mart for one thing, Lee Valley, Source at Masonville, I don’t know…I know we bought an extra 20 lbs of fresh ground beef and were looking for one of those hamburger patty makers. We looked in a lot of stores and finally found one at Canadian Tire. We finally made it home at 6:30, with a van load of stuff. Dolph emptied the freezer and put all the meat in. I still don’t know what’s in my freezer…every few days I go out there and look for stuff… but I can’t remember. We showed the kids how to make the patties and I weighed one and said, “this big.” They found it fun for 2.5 seconds….I looked at the 20 lbs of meat and threw it in the mud room for later (don’t worry-it’s cold in there). On to making Jell-O, Cherry Cheesecake, and collecting up tea, coffee, cups, buns and butter, punch bowl and serving dishes. I tried to watch a little of Lord of the Rings Blue Ray on my new TV… couldn't handle it. I wasn't impressed with the theatrical looking lighting or seeing every one of Gandalf’s pores and it hurt my eyes! Finally at 10:30 I fell into bed for a couple of hours. It was really hard to sleep. The back of my head hurt a lot, my neck muscles were extremely sore and one of my ribs felt like it was cracked so I tossed and turned all night. Woke myself up at 12:30 and tried to upload my pictures to Blacks. I had taken my niece’s maternity photos and bought her a collage frame as a gift. I needed photos in various sizes and 10 5 x 7’s of a family photo taken at Genna’s wedding. That would be my Christmas card…regular cards had been crossed off the list! Finally at 4:30 am after tearing out my hair, my order was done and I was off to bed! Up early the next morning for church! Church was hard-there were so many people, the lights were really bright and the music was too loud-none of which usually bother me! After church and off to Blacks at the mall, then home to get everything ready for the Nethercott Christmas. I wanted to make Kylie and Baby Morgan cupcakes, but Genna said she would do it, so she showed up at my place with the cupcakes made and began to decorate them with all my cake decorating supplies. Dolph made bacon and tomato sandwiches for everyone while Marley, extra kid: Grace and the rest of my kids cavorted around the house. It was chaos! (Think, the late wakeup call in Home Alone!)I was packing up food, wrapping presents and consulting my list every 2 minutes! I remembered a Reliant K Christmas cd that I had ordered for Jake for his birthday and I had just picked up the day before- I took it out of its hiding place in the closet and handed it to Adrian who was headed for the car. “Here”, I said, “give this to Jake. We can listen to it in the car.” No one has seen that cd since…..it’s a great mystery. Finally everything was packed up in the car and we were off. Once there, I managed to hold it together, get my buns and butter on the food table, my cherry cheesecake out, the coffee and tea things out, cups, punch bowl while maintaining a conversation with my aunts and cousins in the kitchen. I was perplexed about my photo order-I was sure Blacks had it wrong-my 5 x 7 family pictures were cropped wrong and too small and all the rest of the pics were too big but I handed them out anyway. (A terse call to Blacks later and a quick measure with a ruler straightened it out…they were the right size…I was an idiot!) We managed to surprise Kylie with the cupcakes and gifts. I even took photos. Soon it was time to say good bye, clean up and drive home. Thankfully, Dolph was driving-the second big storm of the year was underway! At home, I curled up on the couch with Grace and watched one of my favourite movies: Step Mom. Finally, I fell into bed. Oh, yeah and there was a giant bowl of Lime-Pineapple Jell-O in the fridge that I had forgotten!
Oddly, though, I was up early again….very early. I had a crushing headache. That morning, I knew I had to see the doctor. I had promised my Derby Team that for insurance purposes that I would get myself checked out. Every morning we do family devotions with our kids. There was extra discussion as we had Grace there to participate. We read out of a daily devotional booklet that we pick up at church every month. Today, the family couldn't get the meaning so they asked me to read it. It was only a page and I read it 3 times but I couldn't make any sense of it. I knew what I was reading and understood the words but I just couldn't figure it out? I knew something was drastically wrong. I made an appointment to see the doctor. I didn't want to drive myself but it would mean having my daughter pack up Marley and driving ½ hour to my house. She said she would do it but only if I couldn't find a ride. Dolph said to drive myself-I was fine. I called my neighbor and got no answer, so not wanting to bother anyone I drove myself. It was really snowy and icy. I was pretty tense and in tears again thinking that no one cared about me. I know…pity party! After talking to the doctor, he did a neurological exam. I failed miserably. I knew what he was telling me but I couldn't make the connection to do it…like my brain could not make my body move. I broke down in the office. The doctor explained that in a concussion all your brain chemicals get sloshed around and out of the cells. It takes days, weeks or months for them to return to their proper place. In a secondary concussion before healing, the chemicals get sloshed back into the cells but the wrong cells making it even harder for the brain to recover…blood can also be forced out of blood vessels causing stroke and death. He booked me for a CT scan and tried calling my husband and my daughter. He didn’t get either one of them but he said: you are not driving home. We have to find you a ride. He told me that he was putting me on complete brain rest for 1 week: no TV, no driving, and no reading, no thinking, nothing…he said I could do only a few minutes of computer if I needed to do some online shopping, some mundane housekeeping like washing dishes… and talk on the phone; basically mindless stuff. He said in a week, I could look at a magazine and maybe watch a little bit of a slow TV show. I was completely paralyzed with stress-it was just 2 weeks until Christmas….and I couldn't remember what he had just said! But I’m supposed to be having a bunch of ladies over for coffee and dessert this week…he didn't even want me going to a party let alone hosting one! He turned the lights off, left me alone to sleep and went to try and get my husband or daughter. Eventually he talked to both of them. Dolph came to get me, while Genna called the kids and told them exactly what the doctor said…with added threats. The doctor explained everything to Dolph and told him that he had to do everything and I was to have complete quiet and rest! Ha! Had he never seen my house? Five kids at home? Homeschool family? Mom-Zillah? Was he crazy? Dolph asked him for a Valium prescription…the doctor actually thought he was joking! Well, I had lots of people watching me. I didn’t get away with much…although it wasn’t for lack of trying! And the first day it was really quiet. Dolph made a roast for supper. I went in the kitchen to watch. I couldn’t believe he was tenting the thing. I wanted to tell him how to do it. You have to roast it uncovered to sear the outside and seal in the juices….I gave up and left the room without saying a word. After all someone was making me dinner! That night was one of the hardest of my life. It was difficult to sleep because of all the bruises and the pain in the back of my head and my neck. I slept until 3 am and woke up with absolutely nothing to do….except stare into space. I sat in the office from 3 until 6 am, wrapped in a blanket and staring at snowflakes swirling around the yard. I had a mantra to stop my brain from racing….breathe in-breathe out…for hours. Finally after 3 days, there was some peace in my brain. Every night was the same; tossing to find a comfortable spot to lie, then waking up at 3 am. Well, at least it was quiet and peaceful. Dolph drove the kids in to the dentist the next morning; Levi and Chloe had to have wires changed on their braces before Christmas. This was the first time in many, many years that my husband drove anyone to the dentist. Levi had a root canal done 2 years before and Dolph didn't believe me? It was hard to watch him do stuff that I always did. He stayed home for 2 days but I knew it was hard for him-he was trying to finish a basement before Christmas for a client.
The headaches were raging that week. How to describe them? How many different types are there? I don’t think I had a migraine…that would have indicated bleeding but they were weird. The left side of the back of my head hurt the most. But they moved around and felt different all the time. Sometimes it was pressure, sometimes it was throbbing, at one point it felt like electric shocks going off in the middle of my head! Sometimes it felt like I had a frontal lobotomy-that I was sure that someone had removed the front half of my brain! I kept checking to see if it was there but mostly I felt mindless. If you've ever done a lot of drugs, you’d know the feeling-just a very deep state of duh….like I said…my thoughts were swimming in Jell-O. Sometimes I just sat and pressed my hands on my head to relieve the pressure. The week seemed endless. I kept thinking, does the doctor mean one week from concussion or one week from visit? I thought I would instantly be better. My husband thought it was funny-now you know what I feel like all the time-he said. Thanks, now I know I need to get better! I spent most of the week in my room sitting in bed staring out the window.
It seemed to work 2 ways-when I overdid it the symptoms got worse and brought on emotional stress with them, but emotional stress brought on the symptoms so I had to keep myself relaxed. Anyone who knows me well; knows that I motivate myself with stress. And I also use stress to motivate my kids. I know, it’s not the right way to do things but old habits die hard! I slowly learned to let it go. I mean, I still had thoughts of Christmas hanging over my head. I have 7 kids, 12 stockings to stuff and presents to wrap, baking to do and not all of my shopping done and I couldn’t drive. That Saturday Dolph took me to Giant Tiger to pick up stocking stuffers for the kids. I had a very clear picture of what I wanted and a list but man that store is confusing! I left in an hour in tears not really sure of what I bought? It turned out that I did buy extra stuff in weird sizes but everyone managed to get something that fit! The next day was church again and Marley’s third birthday. I didn’t think it was a big deal going to church and I wanted to be there for our Christmas service but if I could have climbed over the other people in my row with any shred of dignity I would have left-I made it through the service by focusing on a point on the ceiling where there were no lights. The party was fun -did I really bake dinosaur cookies for Marley the day before? I decorated my cookies and presented them to Marley and took lots of photos. It seemed like I could function normally for a while but paid dearly later. A person who has a concussion cannot think for themselves-someone needs to tell them, no, restrain them from doing things that they think are important because they have no judgment about their condition! If that person is strong willed like me, then I feel for you because everything seems important.
With only a few days left until Christmas, I knew I had to finish my shopping. I also had organized a tobogganing event at Killer Hill-thankfully Mrs. C drove to my house and drove my van to the hill while one of her kids drove her van. Thank you, Deanna! I found that my facial bones were extremely sensitive to cold and my face hurt horribly from the cold-oversensitive nerves-I found out later. That night I had company for dinner (was I crazy? Yes)-the Sodemans. We had a great time but I shouldn't have done it! I paid dearly the next day. It was funny too-the kids were playing dress up and one of them looked like a ghost-we were trying to figure out the name…Jacob Marley? But first we came up with Bob Marley…no that’s the reggae artist…then I was like Bob Marley?…is that really his name?…I had to get out a cd to check…Jon just laughed at me! Just the Reggae artist my granddaughter is named after! Genna took me shopping a couple of days later. I had a long list and several stops-one to replace the lost Reliant K cd! We went to Masonville-I had cds to get at HMV. Usually I have no trouble navigating that store but…I couldn't figure it out…I found one Cd I wanted then drew a blank. I was wondering around looking like an old person/parent that was in the wrong store when a sales girl offered help. I told her, “I’m looking for this cd…they’re new but they sound old…and they have a hit on the radio...” Helpful! Poor Genna…she must have been embarrassed…she told her, “She’s not usually like this. She’s suffering from a concussion.” But the salesgirl knew exactly what I wanted-The Black Keys! I wanted to hug her! We decided to eat in the restaurant. Genna said it would be quiet and there was a fireplace and I could rest. We went in and sat down. The waiter came to our table and started her spiel…it was all I could do not to cry…the noise was horrendous! I found out later that a concussed person has no filters. When someone with a normal brain goes into a noisy place their brain filters out the Muzak flickering fluorescent lights, kitchen clatter, other conversations in the room and all the other input our brains are subjected to. Our filters only allow in what they feel is important to our immediate needs. In a concussed person everything comes in at the same rate: conversations on the other side of the room, lights, noise, music, ect. It’s very overpowering and over stimulating. As soon as the waiter left she asked if I wanted to leave? YES! She said it was the quivery lip that gave me away! Genna jokingly said she was driving Miss Daisy! I managed to get through baking, wrapping and cleaning for the next few days. I was not watching tv, reading or using the computer except the few minutes here and there the doctor allowed. Christmas Eve came and I had 12 stockings to stuff. I stuffed them that evening while everyone watched a Christmas movie together. That’s one of our favourite things to do over the holidays-not for me this year! I put each stocking in a shopping bag, carried them downstairs and left them behind the couch and went to bed. After all I would be up at 4 or 5 am anyway, plenty of time to put them out! We had gotten my husband and granddaughter quad skates for Christmas. He was pretty happy and insisted that he remembered how to skate in them. He put them right on and skated around the kitchen, then skated backwards and started doing backwards crossovers…it had taken me months to be able to do front crossovers! Gen and I went in the kitchen and booty blocked him and put an end to that! Literally! Usually we play a game called hide the pickle in the tree but instead this year we played “Find Grandma’s one out of a $60 package of China Red Bearings” that got lost in the wrapping paper (Marley was playing with Grandma’s little “wheels”) Thankfully after taking all the wrapping paper out of the bags like 3 times we found the lost bearing in a gift bag! Sigh…I made it through Christmas and the next week. We had my niece Samantha stay with us that week. I still took it very easy although we did go to the mall and tried to go to a movie…I was actually relieved when we found out it was sold out-I could not have sat through 2 hours of Tron! I did however start to read and got so involved in a book that I read 300 pgs in one day-that put me back about a week. After that, I went back to brain rest fully. For New Years I watched Casa Blanca-the first tv I had really watched in 3 weeks. I had a very stressful New Years day with a family problem-spent the entire day in my room in tears praying. If I had just continued to stay on brain rest for the entire 3 weeks I’m sure I would have started to improve by now but it’s really hard when you have 5 children at home. The headaches were not so bad now, mostly just the other symptoms. It really amazed me that Gracie Bunch left a dent in the hood of a Ram truck with her face and she was normal in a month!! The doctors did suggest to her parents that they could put her I Pod on after a week or 10 days-I would say, NO! It would drive a brain injured person nuts!! You can read about Gracie's catostrophic brain injury here. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=175375356517
We started school and I found it very stressful once Dolph went back to work. I spent most of my time in my room. Even cleaning was too much. I could only really do dishes, tidy or fold a load of laundry. I could make a recipe that I was familiar with but a new recipe involved me reading it over and over to remember one simple step. We had changed our cell phone company 2 days before my fall and had gotten high speed with a hub (wireless line). Bell cancelled our email account so I had to change all of our contacts. I could manage about 4 per day. We also had to call them several times to rearrange the billing and set-up. It was a mess. I had 5 contracts to write for our business but couldn't do it. As it was, I was trying to coordinate a kitchen gut and reno after Christmas-thankfully she worked at the Brain Trauma wing at Parkwood and knew what I was going through. In one week, Dolph missed 3 appointments because I couldn't remember them (neither could he)…another client that worked at Parkwood who was very forgiving!
On January 4th, I went to the Fowler-Kennedy Sports Injury Clinic at UWO. First I went to the chiropractor who did massage, essential oils and a new technique involving flight and fright symptoms which occur when you fall or are in a car accident. I wouldn't let her touch or adjust my neck but what she did was enough to pretty much knock me out. Next I stopped at Blackfriars and got my hair cut....my hairdresser Robbin is so cute-she exclaimed, "Wow, Rosemary, your head is still swollen!" No, Robbin, my head is crooked-the other side is flat! After that stimulus I didn't want anyone to touch my head! At Fowler-Kennedy I was seen by a resident and student first. I thought that I shouldn't have gone to the Chiropractor first but they would test me at my worst anyway. The concussion testing involves the Dr. asking you to follow certain instructions of body and eye movements. It’s a weird feeling knowing what you are supposed to do and not being able to make your body do it for several seconds. They laughed when they heard that it was a Roller Derby related injury. The doctor explained that a brain injury is like a fracture but because there is no cast or outward sign it makes it difficult for others to recognize that you are still healing. Those close to me would be able to see the symptoms. Basically 2 more weeks of brain rest was the prescription. In January I began to improve slowly. My confusion and lack of emotional control began to get better although symptoms brought on crying and confusion or emotional stress brought on symptoms. Around 6 weeks I could go to the grocery store without crying. Dolph had great fun asking what I was going to do today before he left for work...then laughing at his own response-NOTHING!! I had to concentrate hard if someone was telling me something I had to understand. I had to listen intently at the beginning or get them to start over. My son Jake asked me for help in his English, and then said, “Oh, forget it.” Lol Grade 5 math was my new limit. Sometimes I would have a 3” section of my skull that felt like it was pushing out. Almost like a 3" goose egg. It would feel hot to the touch and sensitive for a few days, then fade. It moved around to different areas of my head. I realized that my memory had been affected until around Thanksgiving. I didn't remember Jake's birthday the week before or another party I had attended. About 5 weeks in, my symptoms changed and I began to describe the feeling as a “brain clenching”. It felt as if my brain was clenched up like a fist, tightly, with a feeling of great pressure. Sometimes it even seemed like it moved inside my skull. That would come on after 20 minutes at the computer or something as simple as loading the dishwasher. One day it felt like jolts of electricity were going through it. I made up my mind to go back to complete brain rest for a few days after that one! That brought on my first day of waking up with a clear head in almost 8 weeks. Hallelujah!! Last weekend I helped my dad put on my mom’s 80th Birthday open house. If there had been anyone else to do it I wouldn’t have. As it was, Genna and my Aunt Phyllis were a great help. It did set me back a few days. I guess in a way, thinking back, these things are more important to me than my brain. Seeing it on paper puts it in perspective. I really do need the full function of my brain back. It’s been very hard to not do anything but now looking back, I think, what a blessing…who wouldn’t want to be told to do nothing for 9+ weeks. It would have been nice if it had involved sun and beach, but I’ve enjoyed learning to sit still and reflect and look at the snowflakes falling. I don’t understand why I hit my head so hard or suffered such a severe concussion. I do believe in a God that allows things in our life for a reason. I know that I was very stressed out in the fall. We had just had my daughter’s wedding and started back into school. I felt very overwhelmed and that my house was out of control. Through a lot of prayer, I had just started to get my house under control but I was still out of control. I see now how much. Negative emotion feeds on itself until it grows out of proportion and whether “act of God” or accident, I needed something as severe as a good hit on the head to stop and see what I was doing to my family. I think my family also needed to see how valuable I am to them. Sometimes it’s very easy to take people for granted-trite but true. Last summer a lady that I love prayed over me and told me that I needed to abide in Christ. I thought I knew what that meant but now I see it clearly. My husband thinks it’s the best thing that ever happened to me! It has been a difficult time for him as well-he’s been doing all the driving and a lot of the grocery shopping as well as working on 2 projects at the same time-a strict no-no for him! I am a different person now than I was before but I still catch myself falling into the old stress habit-it’s an addiction-but I’m learning to see it and stop it. I spent many weeks in my room listening to James MacDonald preaching series (one of the few things I could do!) and slowly growing closer to God. For several weeks I tried to focus on a verse just to stop my mind from wandering but I couldn’t even keep one in my head although I’ve spent many long hours at night praying with nothing else to do. My whole family including my husband and I are closer together. My daughter Genna has been faithful to pick me up and take me to the doctor and chiropractor and I’m really thankful for her sacrifices as she lives in St Thomas, I live in Mt Brydges and Dr. Fisher is in London-you do the math! My friend Deanna has driven me places and taken one of my children when the stress was too much. My parents have been faithful to call me and inquire to see how I am every few days…they have never shown me that much concern-shows that they do really love me!(And admonish me to stop that crazy sport!) I return to Fowler-Kennedy next week for more testing. I don’t know how much longer before I fully recover. I really miss writing-it's taken me several weeks to write this. I also miss spending 12 hours a day working on Photoshop and taking pictures. I really want to get back on my skates again, in spite of many people telling me no! I really love my LOCO Derby Team and the hurdles that I've conquered in the last year to learn how to skate and play have been huge for me and very empowering. One of my goals for 2011 is to get really fit and build core strength so that I can skate faster and fall better…but that is weeks and months away. I also pray that whatever God wants me to learn from this…I learn it quick because I’m raring to go!
And if I can figure out what happened to that Relient K cd?
Here are some concussion facts and links. Take the time to learn about this potentially dangerous injury.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concussion
I believe that a fall I had the week before while setting up my tree may have contributed to the severity. I fell headlong in my living room, landing in a classic derby fall on elbows and knees. I didn't hit my head but discovered that you can get a concussion from a no impact/sudden stop (coup) or even whiplash.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contrecoup_injury
It is believed that Lou Gehrig’s form of ALS was actually brought on by concussions he received while being knocked unconscious at bat, playing first base and during fights. He showed bravado and played through injuries which often lead to repeated or more severe symptoms.
http://www.bostonspineclinics.com/custom_content/128144_concussion.html
Shaking it off and going back into the game-a common sports injury mistake lead to teen Zach Lystedt’s collapse and resulting seven strokes, near death and eventual handicap- He is permanently disabled.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llLLz6AG_-s
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastnews/story.html?id=8ae0b50e-ab85-44c7-ac3b-c989b419107f
Tracy went and played a second game of soccer and is still recovering after 3 yrs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIqZDbk3M40&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO-ordcPWSU&feature=related
Click on the “concussion card” link on this page to print out a card to keep with your equipment that outlines signs and steps to follow if you suspect someone has a concussion.
http://www.hockeycanada.ca/index.php/ci_id/7699/la_id/1.htm
A new sideline test helps to determine if someone has a concussion and if they should play again.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/02/110202162041.htm
30% of sport related concussions occurring in women from teenage years to 50’s occur in soccer play. There are no stats on Roller Derby play!
Symptoms
Reverberating:asking repeated question over and over.
Headache
Dizziness
Feeling dazed
Seeing stars
Sensitivity to light
Ringing in ears
Tiredness
Nausea, vomiting
Irritability
Confusion, disorientation
Signs
Poor balance or coordination
Slow or slurred speech
Poor concentration
Delayed responses to questions
Vacant stare
Decreased playing ability
Unusual emotions, personality change, and inappropriate behaviour
http://www.cdc.gov/concussion/sports/recognize.html
As one young man said on a YouTube video: DON’T LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO HAS JUST HIT THEIR HEAD!!
Wikipedia describes Concussion:, from the Latin concutere ("to shake violently")[1] or the Latin concussus ("action of striking together"),[2] is the most common type of traumatic brain injury. The terms mild brain injury, mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI), mild head injury (MHI), minor head trauma, and concussion may be used interchangeably,[3][4] although the latter is often treated as a narrower category.[5] The term "concussion" has been used for centuries and is still commonly used in sports medicine, while 'MTBI' is a technical term used more commonly nowadays in general medical contexts. Frequently defined as a head injury with a temporary loss of brain function, concussion can cause a variety of physical, cognitive, and emotional symptoms.
This is how mine happened.
It was the last scrimmage of the year and the last night of Derby before Christmas. Our team, the Black Hats was down at least 10 points. We were doing better this scrimmage than we had the last one but were still fighting hard to gain on the Red Shirts. It seemed that their skaters were bigger and faster than ours and there was plenty of contact for a low-contact league! I had jammed twice and was playing what seems to be my favoured position-pivot-while screaming at Chlorine as she jammed for us and had taken the position of lead jammer and was rounding the bend at the far end of the track. That was the last thing I remember...except that I was trying to busy up Avalanche by pushing her off the track and remember thinking that our skates may lock...but I'm not sure if that was from a previous jam?
I was dreaming about something totally unrelated to derby and then I woke up, sitting on the bench, (alone, I thought) and wondering if I was dreaming in public or if I was thinking about a dream I'd dreamed before....I couldn't figure it out. Then I started to look around. It seemed like there were skaters on the track at that point, but I'm not sure if they were playing (they finished one more jam after I fell); or if some skaters were just skating around after the scrimmage to cool down. I couldn't figure out where I was...and I couldn't figure out where the door was...this seemed important to me...and it's kind of funny in hindsight because my aunt in LA suffers from Alzheimer’s, but when I last visited her in 2006 she was in the early stages of what we thought was dementia. Whenever we took her out to a restaurant, she always located the exit immediately...like she needed an escape plan...that's how I felt at that moment.
I couldn’t see any door or recognize anything so I asked a person sitting beside me if they knew where I was? She immediately said, “Rosemary, are you okay?”
Then I remember seeing my daughter Genna in front of me and asking her something and her saying, “You already asked me that, Mom. Like 5 times!” I looked at Betty Bones and started crying. Poor Bones…she didn’t know what to say…sorry about that,Bones… didn't mean to freak you out! Then I thought I was going to throw up. I’m not sure if that was before or after they checked me over. Avalanche who is a registered ski patrol person and a lady from the YMCA shone lights in my eyes and asked me if I was okay. Mela Thunder was rubbing my arms telling me to relax, that it was going to be okay and Genna was looking at me like I was crazy (or she was going crazy). I had no equipment on at that point and didn't remember it coming off, although I did pick up my helmet and put it on to show them that it was slightly lose. Then I announced that I thought I was going to throw up and headed to the bathroom, alone, strangely? I wasn't sick and started to feel better but I was still pretty confused. I kept asking what had happened…not so much understanding that I fell, but how did I fall?
I found out later that Chlorine fell rounding the far side of the track and thought she dislocated her shoulder. I don’t remember her falling. Everyone was distracted by it and Nia (who was refereeing) blew the whistle and told everyone to take a knee (in Derby terms: stop action while injuries are assessed), when she turned back to the pack, a bunch of us were down. They said it looked like my skates went up in the air and I landed flat on my back and my head bounced. That would make sense if my skates locked with Avalanche…I guess your skates just go with the other skater. I was wearing the Pivot helmet knicker (a helmet cover that has a stripe front to back to distinguish the pivot from the blockers. The jammer wears a knicker with a star on it) and when I fell it slipped off and was covering my face. My daughter, Genna, kind soul that she is…said, “It’s a good thing that helmet knicker flew off on your face, Mom, because if they would’ve went over there to check you and saw you with your eyes rolled back in your head…they would've been scarred for life!” Funny girl, she is! But probably right! They tried to get me up and I got up on my knees and I said, “Don’t make me stand up…I feel too dizzy.” Then I crawled off the track on my hands and knees….real dignified like. I guess Genna went to the bench with me…not sure who removed my skates and pads. I was communicating the entire time but blacked out. A YMCA person came and assessed Chlorine and they decided her shoulder was only sprained. They weren’t too concerned about me until I started asking questions-reverberating- it’s called. In the meantime, they finished the 3rd quarter with 1 last jam. We didn’t win although it seemed important to me and I kept asking if we won. I would say by the time that passed during the final and with all the other commotion going on, that I was blacked out for about 10 minutes. I think I must have fallen on someone’s skates because the next day I had a nice set of 4 bruises on my butt. I also felt like I had a cracked rib but remember being back-checked (hit in the back by another player as they skate up behind you) pretty hard at one point in the game so I was not sure if it was from that or landing on something. In derby it’s so intense and so much happens during a jam and falls that usually you don’t assess your injuries until the next day when the pain sets in and by then you don’t remember the source….just that it was a great game!
So they decided that I should go to the hospital. Genna drove and Vansterdamn drove my van with Suenami (who is a nurse, my age and also our team first aid assessment person) and I. (I know for sure that Vanessa loved, loved driving my van….and it was pretty stressful for me to be the passenger!) Sue took me in while Vanessa and Genna parked. I guess I called Dolph on route and told him I didn't know where I was or where they were taking me but I was fine? Vanessa grabbed half of a Ham and Mozzarella on a Rosemary Foccacia that I had started to eat on the way to Derby and left on the dash-she said later that it was literally the best sandwich she had ever eaten. You have to know Vanessa…. At the hospital they checked me at triage and then sent me back to the waiting room. I was shaking violently by then, had a massive headache and it hurt to breath because of my ribs. Suenami and Vanessa stayed for a while, then they decided to take my van to Vanessa’s and Sue had to pick up her car at the Y. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was a 4 -5 hour wait in emerge. There were some really strange people there…including us in our derby gear…thankfully Genna had decided not to wear her purple fishnets tonight! It makes me wonder…do rich people ever use emerge…because it seemed like most of the people there were really lower class…like street person class…not to be a snob or anything…it was just a random thought I had while there. About 20 minutes after we arrived, a lady who was in this quarantine room in the corner began to vomit. The first time, we heard it splat all over the floor. It was so loud that it pretty much rattled the windows…she went for about a half hour…or an eternity. Gen and I are a bit OCD about picking up viruses in public so I went to the window after we were there for about 2 ½ hours and asked how long the wait was. Another 2-3 hours-yikes. I asked if I could check myself out. An elderly gentleman beside us had been there since 7:30 and we got there at 9:30! They said I had to see the triage nurse again. She told me I definitely had a concussion and that really, unless I had more severe symptoms, there wasn’t much they could do for me. She told me to not over exert myself, that I should come back if I had really severe confusion, vomiting or really severe headaches that wouldn't go away. She said I couldn't run or skate for probably at least a week and definitely get checked out before I skated again.
I decided that since Genna and I had been carrying on a somewhat coherent conversation for a couple of hours and that I was looking at a magazine that I was okay to drive….really, it was my decision not hers. We decided we were both hungry and went through McDonald’s drive through for Double Cheeseburger meals…she dumped the fries on the floor of the truck…sorry, Laura! Then we got Vanessa out of bed and picked up my van where it was nicely tucked in her driveway…it looked way too at home there! I decided to drive and really, it seemed okay. It was 1:30 in the morning after all. One of my reasons for doing so was that we had a full agenda the next day which involved driving older kids into town and then driving to Stratford and back to London. We needed the van and complicating it by leaving it in London didn't seem like an option to me at that point. I was actually fine driving, until some punks on Oxford St threw a chunk of ice the size of my head at my van. It hit squarely in the middle of the driver’s side right where my windshield is cracked…I was sure it would've broken it but it didn't so I pulled a U turn and chased them down while I called the cops. They just stood on the side of the road in their subdivision and continued to throw stuff at my van while I sat there and described them to the officer…I was so mad it was all I could do not to get out of the car and chase them down…they had snow so I figured they didn't have guns! The police said they were on their way and I could go, so I continued home. (Later I found out that this would be one of my symptoms-uncontrollable emotions) It took me several hours to get to sleep…I think like maybe 4 am and I woke with a pretty bad headache.
We had a lot planned for that weekend. We had been planning to pick up a TV and Blue Ray player in Stratford from my son-in-law’s Source store, and then pick up a side of beef that we had ordered at the Trail’s End market in London. The TV was my Christmas present and would help make our room a private place to sneak away from the kids for a date! I had shopping to do for a family Christmas on Sunday that I had tried to finish on Friday afternoon and wasn't able to. Our Nethercott family Christmas was on Sunday and it was the one time of the year that I get to visit with those Aunts and Uncles and cousins. On top of that I had planned a baby shower for my niece, Kylie and her new baby, Morgan, at the family Christmas. I had photos to print, gifts to wrap, cards to write out and food to prepare (not only my own but I was also covering for my brother and my nephew). My oldest boys were invited to a small group party that started at 9:30 pm and ended at 1 am that evening and needed a ride to and from. I didn’t feel that bad when I woke up but as the day began to get more stressful things went downhill. My husband was upset and stressing that I was adding things to the day we already had planned and I needed to find rides to and from London for my kids. When I came downstairs to talk to Levi about the party and ask him a question…I just looked at him and burst into tears. I didn't know what I was asking him or why? The least little thing set me off crying and I couldn't understand it. (Don’t expect a person with a concussion to assess if they are having severe confusion! I didn't think a concussion was that big of a deal?) I took one Tylenol to stave off the headache-anyone who knows me well, knows I resist taking drugs for anything.
My dear friend, Lizzie, offered to have the boys dropped off at her house and to drive them to and pick them up from the party. Thank you, Lizzie! On the way there, as we drove through her subdivision, I had to hold my head in my hands as the van vibrated over the ice from the recent snowstorm. We headed next to Stratford….my husband, not used to driving my van, almost ran out of gas on the way there…in the great, uninhabited North-do you realize how many closed gas stations there are between Thamesford and Stratford? Neither do I…I can’t remember! We made it on a vapour and a prayer…whew! At one point we passed an empty field with a sign that read: Please don’t honk at the sheep! Really? I went from crying to laughing uncontrollably in 1.2 seconds! So my sense of humour was intact…I had to stop and take a picture…on the way home…needed to keep the momentum going….before we ran out of gas! We made it to the GoCo just outside of Stratford…more comic relief….a ‘bait’ vending machine! Really? I had never seen or even thought of such a thing-thankfully it was closed for the winter…those poor frozen little worms…. In Stratford, we found the Source and Liam, my son-in-law, had most of our stuff ready. (I had cried almost all the way there so I’m sure I was a mess). The other guys in the store knew what had happened to me, but they loaded up the trap thrower toy anyway and let me play it in the store, then laughed at me when I hit nothing! Liam and Dolph asked me questions about the Blue Ray player that I (Dolph) wanted and I stared at them with a blank face….they just laughed at me. I remember telling them that I felt like my thoughts were suspended in a giant bowl of Jell-O and I had to swim to them? Dolph let me go off to find a bathroom by myself…I made it there but found it so confusing and noisy and over stimulating…I remember standing in Canadian Tire and thinking…now I know what it feels like to be Autistic! He had to come and get me-I was standing at the end of an isle studying a display of baskets!
We headed off to Trails End for the meat…I went in to buy some fruit and veggies. I hadn’t been there in a few years so it was really confusing and the quality was not that great. I threw out almost everything I bought. After that it was Wal-Mart for one thing, Lee Valley, Source at Masonville, I don’t know…I know we bought an extra 20 lbs of fresh ground beef and were looking for one of those hamburger patty makers. We looked in a lot of stores and finally found one at Canadian Tire. We finally made it home at 6:30, with a van load of stuff. Dolph emptied the freezer and put all the meat in. I still don’t know what’s in my freezer…every few days I go out there and look for stuff… but I can’t remember. We showed the kids how to make the patties and I weighed one and said, “this big.” They found it fun for 2.5 seconds….I looked at the 20 lbs of meat and threw it in the mud room for later (don’t worry-it’s cold in there). On to making Jell-O, Cherry Cheesecake, and collecting up tea, coffee, cups, buns and butter, punch bowl and serving dishes. I tried to watch a little of Lord of the Rings Blue Ray on my new TV… couldn't handle it. I wasn't impressed with the theatrical looking lighting or seeing every one of Gandalf’s pores and it hurt my eyes! Finally at 10:30 I fell into bed for a couple of hours. It was really hard to sleep. The back of my head hurt a lot, my neck muscles were extremely sore and one of my ribs felt like it was cracked so I tossed and turned all night. Woke myself up at 12:30 and tried to upload my pictures to Blacks. I had taken my niece’s maternity photos and bought her a collage frame as a gift. I needed photos in various sizes and 10 5 x 7’s of a family photo taken at Genna’s wedding. That would be my Christmas card…regular cards had been crossed off the list! Finally at 4:30 am after tearing out my hair, my order was done and I was off to bed! Up early the next morning for church! Church was hard-there were so many people, the lights were really bright and the music was too loud-none of which usually bother me! After church and off to Blacks at the mall, then home to get everything ready for the Nethercott Christmas. I wanted to make Kylie and Baby Morgan cupcakes, but Genna said she would do it, so she showed up at my place with the cupcakes made and began to decorate them with all my cake decorating supplies. Dolph made bacon and tomato sandwiches for everyone while Marley, extra kid: Grace and the rest of my kids cavorted around the house. It was chaos! (Think, the late wakeup call in Home Alone!)I was packing up food, wrapping presents and consulting my list every 2 minutes! I remembered a Reliant K Christmas cd that I had ordered for Jake for his birthday and I had just picked up the day before- I took it out of its hiding place in the closet and handed it to Adrian who was headed for the car. “Here”, I said, “give this to Jake. We can listen to it in the car.” No one has seen that cd since…..it’s a great mystery. Finally everything was packed up in the car and we were off. Once there, I managed to hold it together, get my buns and butter on the food table, my cherry cheesecake out, the coffee and tea things out, cups, punch bowl while maintaining a conversation with my aunts and cousins in the kitchen. I was perplexed about my photo order-I was sure Blacks had it wrong-my 5 x 7 family pictures were cropped wrong and too small and all the rest of the pics were too big but I handed them out anyway. (A terse call to Blacks later and a quick measure with a ruler straightened it out…they were the right size…I was an idiot!) We managed to surprise Kylie with the cupcakes and gifts. I even took photos. Soon it was time to say good bye, clean up and drive home. Thankfully, Dolph was driving-the second big storm of the year was underway! At home, I curled up on the couch with Grace and watched one of my favourite movies: Step Mom. Finally, I fell into bed. Oh, yeah and there was a giant bowl of Lime-Pineapple Jell-O in the fridge that I had forgotten!
Oddly, though, I was up early again….very early. I had a crushing headache. That morning, I knew I had to see the doctor. I had promised my Derby Team that for insurance purposes that I would get myself checked out. Every morning we do family devotions with our kids. There was extra discussion as we had Grace there to participate. We read out of a daily devotional booklet that we pick up at church every month. Today, the family couldn't get the meaning so they asked me to read it. It was only a page and I read it 3 times but I couldn't make any sense of it. I knew what I was reading and understood the words but I just couldn't figure it out? I knew something was drastically wrong. I made an appointment to see the doctor. I didn't want to drive myself but it would mean having my daughter pack up Marley and driving ½ hour to my house. She said she would do it but only if I couldn't find a ride. Dolph said to drive myself-I was fine. I called my neighbor and got no answer, so not wanting to bother anyone I drove myself. It was really snowy and icy. I was pretty tense and in tears again thinking that no one cared about me. I know…pity party! After talking to the doctor, he did a neurological exam. I failed miserably. I knew what he was telling me but I couldn't make the connection to do it…like my brain could not make my body move. I broke down in the office. The doctor explained that in a concussion all your brain chemicals get sloshed around and out of the cells. It takes days, weeks or months for them to return to their proper place. In a secondary concussion before healing, the chemicals get sloshed back into the cells but the wrong cells making it even harder for the brain to recover…blood can also be forced out of blood vessels causing stroke and death. He booked me for a CT scan and tried calling my husband and my daughter. He didn’t get either one of them but he said: you are not driving home. We have to find you a ride. He told me that he was putting me on complete brain rest for 1 week: no TV, no driving, and no reading, no thinking, nothing…he said I could do only a few minutes of computer if I needed to do some online shopping, some mundane housekeeping like washing dishes… and talk on the phone; basically mindless stuff. He said in a week, I could look at a magazine and maybe watch a little bit of a slow TV show. I was completely paralyzed with stress-it was just 2 weeks until Christmas….and I couldn't remember what he had just said! But I’m supposed to be having a bunch of ladies over for coffee and dessert this week…he didn't even want me going to a party let alone hosting one! He turned the lights off, left me alone to sleep and went to try and get my husband or daughter. Eventually he talked to both of them. Dolph came to get me, while Genna called the kids and told them exactly what the doctor said…with added threats. The doctor explained everything to Dolph and told him that he had to do everything and I was to have complete quiet and rest! Ha! Had he never seen my house? Five kids at home? Homeschool family? Mom-Zillah? Was he crazy? Dolph asked him for a Valium prescription…the doctor actually thought he was joking! Well, I had lots of people watching me. I didn’t get away with much…although it wasn’t for lack of trying! And the first day it was really quiet. Dolph made a roast for supper. I went in the kitchen to watch. I couldn’t believe he was tenting the thing. I wanted to tell him how to do it. You have to roast it uncovered to sear the outside and seal in the juices….I gave up and left the room without saying a word. After all someone was making me dinner! That night was one of the hardest of my life. It was difficult to sleep because of all the bruises and the pain in the back of my head and my neck. I slept until 3 am and woke up with absolutely nothing to do….except stare into space. I sat in the office from 3 until 6 am, wrapped in a blanket and staring at snowflakes swirling around the yard. I had a mantra to stop my brain from racing….breathe in-breathe out…for hours. Finally after 3 days, there was some peace in my brain. Every night was the same; tossing to find a comfortable spot to lie, then waking up at 3 am. Well, at least it was quiet and peaceful. Dolph drove the kids in to the dentist the next morning; Levi and Chloe had to have wires changed on their braces before Christmas. This was the first time in many, many years that my husband drove anyone to the dentist. Levi had a root canal done 2 years before and Dolph didn't believe me? It was hard to watch him do stuff that I always did. He stayed home for 2 days but I knew it was hard for him-he was trying to finish a basement before Christmas for a client.
The headaches were raging that week. How to describe them? How many different types are there? I don’t think I had a migraine…that would have indicated bleeding but they were weird. The left side of the back of my head hurt the most. But they moved around and felt different all the time. Sometimes it was pressure, sometimes it was throbbing, at one point it felt like electric shocks going off in the middle of my head! Sometimes it felt like I had a frontal lobotomy-that I was sure that someone had removed the front half of my brain! I kept checking to see if it was there but mostly I felt mindless. If you've ever done a lot of drugs, you’d know the feeling-just a very deep state of duh….like I said…my thoughts were swimming in Jell-O. Sometimes I just sat and pressed my hands on my head to relieve the pressure. The week seemed endless. I kept thinking, does the doctor mean one week from concussion or one week from visit? I thought I would instantly be better. My husband thought it was funny-now you know what I feel like all the time-he said. Thanks, now I know I need to get better! I spent most of the week in my room sitting in bed staring out the window.
It seemed to work 2 ways-when I overdid it the symptoms got worse and brought on emotional stress with them, but emotional stress brought on the symptoms so I had to keep myself relaxed. Anyone who knows me well; knows that I motivate myself with stress. And I also use stress to motivate my kids. I know, it’s not the right way to do things but old habits die hard! I slowly learned to let it go. I mean, I still had thoughts of Christmas hanging over my head. I have 7 kids, 12 stockings to stuff and presents to wrap, baking to do and not all of my shopping done and I couldn’t drive. That Saturday Dolph took me to Giant Tiger to pick up stocking stuffers for the kids. I had a very clear picture of what I wanted and a list but man that store is confusing! I left in an hour in tears not really sure of what I bought? It turned out that I did buy extra stuff in weird sizes but everyone managed to get something that fit! The next day was church again and Marley’s third birthday. I didn’t think it was a big deal going to church and I wanted to be there for our Christmas service but if I could have climbed over the other people in my row with any shred of dignity I would have left-I made it through the service by focusing on a point on the ceiling where there were no lights. The party was fun -did I really bake dinosaur cookies for Marley the day before? I decorated my cookies and presented them to Marley and took lots of photos. It seemed like I could function normally for a while but paid dearly later. A person who has a concussion cannot think for themselves-someone needs to tell them, no, restrain them from doing things that they think are important because they have no judgment about their condition! If that person is strong willed like me, then I feel for you because everything seems important.
With only a few days left until Christmas, I knew I had to finish my shopping. I also had organized a tobogganing event at Killer Hill-thankfully Mrs. C drove to my house and drove my van to the hill while one of her kids drove her van. Thank you, Deanna! I found that my facial bones were extremely sensitive to cold and my face hurt horribly from the cold-oversensitive nerves-I found out later. That night I had company for dinner (was I crazy? Yes)-the Sodemans. We had a great time but I shouldn't have done it! I paid dearly the next day. It was funny too-the kids were playing dress up and one of them looked like a ghost-we were trying to figure out the name…Jacob Marley? But first we came up with Bob Marley…no that’s the reggae artist…then I was like Bob Marley?…is that really his name?…I had to get out a cd to check…Jon just laughed at me! Just the Reggae artist my granddaughter is named after! Genna took me shopping a couple of days later. I had a long list and several stops-one to replace the lost Reliant K cd! We went to Masonville-I had cds to get at HMV. Usually I have no trouble navigating that store but…I couldn't figure it out…I found one Cd I wanted then drew a blank. I was wondering around looking like an old person/parent that was in the wrong store when a sales girl offered help. I told her, “I’m looking for this cd…they’re new but they sound old…and they have a hit on the radio...” Helpful! Poor Genna…she must have been embarrassed…she told her, “She’s not usually like this. She’s suffering from a concussion.” But the salesgirl knew exactly what I wanted-The Black Keys! I wanted to hug her! We decided to eat in the restaurant. Genna said it would be quiet and there was a fireplace and I could rest. We went in and sat down. The waiter came to our table and started her spiel…it was all I could do not to cry…the noise was horrendous! I found out later that a concussed person has no filters. When someone with a normal brain goes into a noisy place their brain filters out the Muzak flickering fluorescent lights, kitchen clatter, other conversations in the room and all the other input our brains are subjected to. Our filters only allow in what they feel is important to our immediate needs. In a concussed person everything comes in at the same rate: conversations on the other side of the room, lights, noise, music, ect. It’s very overpowering and over stimulating. As soon as the waiter left she asked if I wanted to leave? YES! She said it was the quivery lip that gave me away! Genna jokingly said she was driving Miss Daisy! I managed to get through baking, wrapping and cleaning for the next few days. I was not watching tv, reading or using the computer except the few minutes here and there the doctor allowed. Christmas Eve came and I had 12 stockings to stuff. I stuffed them that evening while everyone watched a Christmas movie together. That’s one of our favourite things to do over the holidays-not for me this year! I put each stocking in a shopping bag, carried them downstairs and left them behind the couch and went to bed. After all I would be up at 4 or 5 am anyway, plenty of time to put them out! We had gotten my husband and granddaughter quad skates for Christmas. He was pretty happy and insisted that he remembered how to skate in them. He put them right on and skated around the kitchen, then skated backwards and started doing backwards crossovers…it had taken me months to be able to do front crossovers! Gen and I went in the kitchen and booty blocked him and put an end to that! Literally! Usually we play a game called hide the pickle in the tree but instead this year we played “Find Grandma’s one out of a $60 package of China Red Bearings” that got lost in the wrapping paper (Marley was playing with Grandma’s little “wheels”) Thankfully after taking all the wrapping paper out of the bags like 3 times we found the lost bearing in a gift bag! Sigh…I made it through Christmas and the next week. We had my niece Samantha stay with us that week. I still took it very easy although we did go to the mall and tried to go to a movie…I was actually relieved when we found out it was sold out-I could not have sat through 2 hours of Tron! I did however start to read and got so involved in a book that I read 300 pgs in one day-that put me back about a week. After that, I went back to brain rest fully. For New Years I watched Casa Blanca-the first tv I had really watched in 3 weeks. I had a very stressful New Years day with a family problem-spent the entire day in my room in tears praying. If I had just continued to stay on brain rest for the entire 3 weeks I’m sure I would have started to improve by now but it’s really hard when you have 5 children at home. The headaches were not so bad now, mostly just the other symptoms. It really amazed me that Gracie Bunch left a dent in the hood of a Ram truck with her face and she was normal in a month!! The doctors did suggest to her parents that they could put her I Pod on after a week or 10 days-I would say, NO! It would drive a brain injured person nuts!! You can read about Gracie's catostrophic brain injury here. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=175375356517
We started school and I found it very stressful once Dolph went back to work. I spent most of my time in my room. Even cleaning was too much. I could only really do dishes, tidy or fold a load of laundry. I could make a recipe that I was familiar with but a new recipe involved me reading it over and over to remember one simple step. We had changed our cell phone company 2 days before my fall and had gotten high speed with a hub (wireless line). Bell cancelled our email account so I had to change all of our contacts. I could manage about 4 per day. We also had to call them several times to rearrange the billing and set-up. It was a mess. I had 5 contracts to write for our business but couldn't do it. As it was, I was trying to coordinate a kitchen gut and reno after Christmas-thankfully she worked at the Brain Trauma wing at Parkwood and knew what I was going through. In one week, Dolph missed 3 appointments because I couldn't remember them (neither could he)…another client that worked at Parkwood who was very forgiving!
On January 4th, I went to the Fowler-Kennedy Sports Injury Clinic at UWO. First I went to the chiropractor who did massage, essential oils and a new technique involving flight and fright symptoms which occur when you fall or are in a car accident. I wouldn't let her touch or adjust my neck but what she did was enough to pretty much knock me out. Next I stopped at Blackfriars and got my hair cut....my hairdresser Robbin is so cute-she exclaimed, "Wow, Rosemary, your head is still swollen!" No, Robbin, my head is crooked-the other side is flat! After that stimulus I didn't want anyone to touch my head! At Fowler-Kennedy I was seen by a resident and student first. I thought that I shouldn't have gone to the Chiropractor first but they would test me at my worst anyway. The concussion testing involves the Dr. asking you to follow certain instructions of body and eye movements. It’s a weird feeling knowing what you are supposed to do and not being able to make your body do it for several seconds. They laughed when they heard that it was a Roller Derby related injury. The doctor explained that a brain injury is like a fracture but because there is no cast or outward sign it makes it difficult for others to recognize that you are still healing. Those close to me would be able to see the symptoms. Basically 2 more weeks of brain rest was the prescription. In January I began to improve slowly. My confusion and lack of emotional control began to get better although symptoms brought on crying and confusion or emotional stress brought on symptoms. Around 6 weeks I could go to the grocery store without crying. Dolph had great fun asking what I was going to do today before he left for work...then laughing at his own response-NOTHING!! I had to concentrate hard if someone was telling me something I had to understand. I had to listen intently at the beginning or get them to start over. My son Jake asked me for help in his English, and then said, “Oh, forget it.” Lol Grade 5 math was my new limit. Sometimes I would have a 3” section of my skull that felt like it was pushing out. Almost like a 3" goose egg. It would feel hot to the touch and sensitive for a few days, then fade. It moved around to different areas of my head. I realized that my memory had been affected until around Thanksgiving. I didn't remember Jake's birthday the week before or another party I had attended. About 5 weeks in, my symptoms changed and I began to describe the feeling as a “brain clenching”. It felt as if my brain was clenched up like a fist, tightly, with a feeling of great pressure. Sometimes it even seemed like it moved inside my skull. That would come on after 20 minutes at the computer or something as simple as loading the dishwasher. One day it felt like jolts of electricity were going through it. I made up my mind to go back to complete brain rest for a few days after that one! That brought on my first day of waking up with a clear head in almost 8 weeks. Hallelujah!! Last weekend I helped my dad put on my mom’s 80th Birthday open house. If there had been anyone else to do it I wouldn’t have. As it was, Genna and my Aunt Phyllis were a great help. It did set me back a few days. I guess in a way, thinking back, these things are more important to me than my brain. Seeing it on paper puts it in perspective. I really do need the full function of my brain back. It’s been very hard to not do anything but now looking back, I think, what a blessing…who wouldn’t want to be told to do nothing for 9+ weeks. It would have been nice if it had involved sun and beach, but I’ve enjoyed learning to sit still and reflect and look at the snowflakes falling. I don’t understand why I hit my head so hard or suffered such a severe concussion. I do believe in a God that allows things in our life for a reason. I know that I was very stressed out in the fall. We had just had my daughter’s wedding and started back into school. I felt very overwhelmed and that my house was out of control. Through a lot of prayer, I had just started to get my house under control but I was still out of control. I see now how much. Negative emotion feeds on itself until it grows out of proportion and whether “act of God” or accident, I needed something as severe as a good hit on the head to stop and see what I was doing to my family. I think my family also needed to see how valuable I am to them. Sometimes it’s very easy to take people for granted-trite but true. Last summer a lady that I love prayed over me and told me that I needed to abide in Christ. I thought I knew what that meant but now I see it clearly. My husband thinks it’s the best thing that ever happened to me! It has been a difficult time for him as well-he’s been doing all the driving and a lot of the grocery shopping as well as working on 2 projects at the same time-a strict no-no for him! I am a different person now than I was before but I still catch myself falling into the old stress habit-it’s an addiction-but I’m learning to see it and stop it. I spent many weeks in my room listening to James MacDonald preaching series (one of the few things I could do!) and slowly growing closer to God. For several weeks I tried to focus on a verse just to stop my mind from wandering but I couldn’t even keep one in my head although I’ve spent many long hours at night praying with nothing else to do. My whole family including my husband and I are closer together. My daughter Genna has been faithful to pick me up and take me to the doctor and chiropractor and I’m really thankful for her sacrifices as she lives in St Thomas, I live in Mt Brydges and Dr. Fisher is in London-you do the math! My friend Deanna has driven me places and taken one of my children when the stress was too much. My parents have been faithful to call me and inquire to see how I am every few days…they have never shown me that much concern-shows that they do really love me!(And admonish me to stop that crazy sport!) I return to Fowler-Kennedy next week for more testing. I don’t know how much longer before I fully recover. I really miss writing-it's taken me several weeks to write this. I also miss spending 12 hours a day working on Photoshop and taking pictures. I really want to get back on my skates again, in spite of many people telling me no! I really love my LOCO Derby Team and the hurdles that I've conquered in the last year to learn how to skate and play have been huge for me and very empowering. One of my goals for 2011 is to get really fit and build core strength so that I can skate faster and fall better…but that is weeks and months away. I also pray that whatever God wants me to learn from this…I learn it quick because I’m raring to go!
And if I can figure out what happened to that Relient K cd?
Here are some concussion facts and links. Take the time to learn about this potentially dangerous injury.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concussion
I believe that a fall I had the week before while setting up my tree may have contributed to the severity. I fell headlong in my living room, landing in a classic derby fall on elbows and knees. I didn't hit my head but discovered that you can get a concussion from a no impact/sudden stop (coup) or even whiplash.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contrecoup_injury
It is believed that Lou Gehrig’s form of ALS was actually brought on by concussions he received while being knocked unconscious at bat, playing first base and during fights. He showed bravado and played through injuries which often lead to repeated or more severe symptoms.
http://www.bostonspineclinics.com/custom_content/128144_concussion.html
Shaking it off and going back into the game-a common sports injury mistake lead to teen Zach Lystedt’s collapse and resulting seven strokes, near death and eventual handicap- He is permanently disabled.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llLLz6AG_-s
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastnews/story.html?id=8ae0b50e-ab85-44c7-ac3b-c989b419107f
Tracy went and played a second game of soccer and is still recovering after 3 yrs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIqZDbk3M40&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO-ordcPWSU&feature=related
Click on the “concussion card” link on this page to print out a card to keep with your equipment that outlines signs and steps to follow if you suspect someone has a concussion.
http://www.hockeycanada.ca/index.php/ci_id/7699/la_id/1.htm
A new sideline test helps to determine if someone has a concussion and if they should play again.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/02/110202162041.htm
Rami California
A picture taken by Grace.
Now you tell me!!
Looking for the lost bearing!
China Red...safe and sound in the box!
It was a very strange weekend!
What?
Symptoms
Reverberating:asking repeated question over and over.
Headache
Dizziness
Feeling dazed
Seeing stars
Sensitivity to light
Ringing in ears
Tiredness
Nausea, vomiting
Irritability
Confusion, disorientation
Signs
Poor balance or coordination
Slow or slurred speech
Poor concentration
Delayed responses to questions
Vacant stare
Decreased playing ability
Unusual emotions, personality change, and inappropriate behaviour
http://www.cdc.gov/concussion/sports/recognize.html
As one young man said on a YouTube video: DON’T LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO HAS JUST HIT THEIR HEAD!!
